A Growing Season

Over a year ago, I did something dangerous.  I don't recommend you try this at home, unless you're ready for what will happen afterward. Over and over, throughout the winter of last year, I prayed that God would stretch me, take me out of my comfort zone and bring me to rely on Him alone.  And He has.  And He is.

"He must become greater; I must become less." John 3:10

In so many ways, God is stripping away what is me, what is comfortable.  I can look a short ways behind me now, and I see how very much I have always relied on myself.  If I couldn't see the end of the road, I would typically not step foot on it.  But in God's answering my prayer for more unleashing of faith and total reliance on Him, He is calling me and my husband to step out into new places and agree to do more than we could possibly do on our own.  It's a beautiful, raw, unbridled faith-testing, this going into the unknown.  Each step along the way, God is using His Word as "a lamp unto our feet and a light unto our path." And He is bringing precious travellers alongside us.

My eyes are opening daily to more and more need.  It is everywhere, in this broken world we call home for now.  The love of Christ for the orphan has taken root in my heart, and over the course of a few years of learning about what the Word of God says about orphans and what my responsibility is to them, I am digging deeper and deeper into the dark places of our world, asking the Holy Spirit to really let me see.  At one time, I lived in my own world, enjoying my own "stuff" and giving my tithes and doing nice things as long as it didn't cost me my own comforts.  I can't see what Jesus sacrificed for me, and see the hurting world around me, and continue to live for myself, though.  It just isn't possible.  Christ poured out His own blood for me, and I have never been worthy of what I cost him.  How can I possibly see those needs around me and not consider them worthy of a cost to myself?

"But the king replied to Araunah, 'No, I insist on paying you for it. I will not sacrifice to the LORD my God burnt offerings that cost me nothing.'" 2 Samuel 24:24

God is revealing to my heart that there are many types of offering I can make to Him.  My praise in the midst of trials.  Money I set aside for something for me that I can instead use for someone else.  Being afraid to fly over the ocean and getting on the plane anyway, to go where the Lord send us. The willingness to miss my babies for a week to shower a boy we consider family, and who misses his parents every single day of his life, with the love of a mom and dad.

What started as a heart for adoption, a heart for the orphan, is being grown into a heart more burdened by the brokenness in this world... into a heart that knows more about human trafficking and that many orphans wind up in sex slavery all across this planet and even in our nation, because they are easy victims of evil people in a hugely profitable industry... a heart that knows kids watch their parents die of AIDS, sometimes curled up beside them as they succumb to the horrible death AIDS inflicts on its victims, and then wind up heads of households at age 10... a heart that knows there are little babies and children living in this world with HIV who have no family and are considered nothing more than what, in our Lord's time, people considered the lepers - filthy, outcast, throw-away people, and that is not who they are or how God considers them... and I now know these kids can actually be adopted and with meds we have access to here, can live a normal life span.  I am now aware that as my kids splash their summer days away in swimming pools and lakes, there are whole communities dying slowly from lack of clean water.  I know there are little children with empty bellies, and they all have names and faces and stories.  And God doesn't desire my guilt at having health and having food on the table and clean water to splash in, because it is the Lord who blesses us with these things.  But He is clear in His Word that I have a duty, and He has given me a desire to act. 

"Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless; maintain the right of the poor and oppressed. Rescue the weak and needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked." Psalm 82:3-4

"Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy."  Proverbs 31:8-9

Recently, as I'm drawn more in love with the children in our world and in our own country who are orphans, God is not allowing me to be content living with blinders on.  I can feel my heart seeking out more understanding, and I'm asking God to give me His eyes and His heart and His strength.  

As we prepare to go on our first trip to Eastern Europe, we ask you would be praying for us.  The Lord is so faithful to guide us in the direction of His will.  It's a huge gift from the hand of God Himself to be able to look our Sasha in the face and tell him he is worth the travel and that he is loved by us and by the Lord.  That moment, and all the moments we will spend in his company, are an honor which I am humbled to be able to receive.  There is not a single person on this earth I would rather meet than our Sasha.  Not one.  (There's not an 11-year old girl on the planet who wants to meet Justin Bieber any more than we want to meet Sasha!) I cannot tell you how moved my heart is that God is giving us this opportunity. Wow... am I ever going to be crying tears of joy!

I'd like to also express my deep thanks for all those (some I know well and others I've never met) who have invested of their time, prayers, finances, energy, and words of encouragement to us.  We are going on this mission and bringing you all along in our hearts.  We could not do this were it not for your participation, and God is using every single thing you are investing to not only bless us but to make a real impact on the children and caregivers we will be with this month and on children we are working toward supporting in the future.  Your gifts are going to have eternal impact, and I am honored to watch your hearts in action.   

Please pray that we would be able to accomplish all the Lord intends for us to do.  The trip has grown by His grace into one that is allowing us opportunity to work on behalf of orphans in a number of different ways.  I'm seeing how small my faith has always been, in light of what I'm learning now about growing in my faith to the point that I press in hard toward the unknown and the too-big and the I-don't-know-how.  

"Do not despise these small beginnings, for the LORD rejoices to see the work begin!" Zechariah 4:10

Why "there" when there's so much need "here"?

My grandmother and I are talking about the gifts.  We're talking about how she could mention to her girlfriends that if they'd like to buy a small gift for one of the children we'll be visiting at the center in Ukraine, and I'll give her some photos to show them, so they can see the kids.  We talk about how it's so important for a child who has lost everything - sometimes more than once - to have a little something that is just theirs.

She tells me that she has enjoyed the shoebox projects her church does at Christmas, but that a lot of people ask her, "Why do you send things to kids in other countries when their are so many needy kids here?" She doesn't really have an answer, except that she enjoys it.  But I can tell she wants an answer, as I think she feels a little anticipation of these questions coming up again.  

We talk more.  About Jesus and children and gifts. About needs so great.  And us, so small.

The question is valid, though, and I think it's important to talk about all these things, when we talk about missions and ministry and giving and orphan care.  I hear this question worded in different ways. "Why would they adopt from another country when there are so many children here?" "Why would they adopt a child with severe special needs, when there are healthy children who need a home?"  "Why did they want to have a foster child, when they could have adopted a baby, without all that baggage?"  "Why would you help kids far away, when there are so many poor children in our own communities?"  

I hope I'm not speaking out of turn, but the only thing that continually comes to mind when I hear these questions is that the needs are so great..... so great.  Way beyond what any one of us could possibly meet.  And the Lord loves each of these little ones so incredibly.  And there is truth in each of these questions.  There are so many children - little ones, bigger ones - who all have needs that sting my heart. And I'm so thankful that we serve a God who calls each of us to unique areas of service, so that, hopefully, we are all together working as the body of Christ to do what we can to reach this hurting world with the love of Jesus.  

And I'm encouraged when I step back and see a larger picture of what is happening around me.  I have friends who have adopted from foster care and others who've adopted babies of all different colors as infants, and I have friends who've travelled the globe against all earthly odds to bring children home when governments and embassies have been difficult to work with.  I have friends who have had adoptions fall apart time and again, but who've continued on in faith that God is in control, even through tremendous grief and broken hearts.  And I have friends I have not yet met who give their lives daily to rescuing children from the streets of Eastern Europe and taking care of them.  I know a man who set up a house in a whole different country just so that kids there would be safe.  And I am getting to know friends who've stared down stigmas and fear and lies to bring home children who would have died of AIDS if left in other countries, but who are able to be safe and healthy and live great lives in the U.S. because we have the medicine they need and the families they need.  I have a childhood friend who works to fight human trafficking.  Each of us can do something.  God will show us each what that is.  And that feels like hope.

And all these children are precious.  Each of them is of indescribable value to the Lord.  And they each do have needs.  And as God's people, we have to ask Him how He wants each of us to be working to meet those needs.  We are not all called to do the same thing.  But I believe we have to be honest enough to ask the Lord His heart for us, and we have to be willing to expose our own hearts to the hard things and the hard places.  Sometimes that means going.  Sometimes it means staying.  Sometimes it means seeing needs and not understanding why they are not met yet.  And it means trusting that the God we serve is able to redeem the broken pieces and create beauty from ashes.  But I don't believe it's God's will for any child to be an orphan.  It's a sad fact of living in a broken world, but it's not ok.  And I don't care where the children live, they move my heart. 

I can't really get my head around the magnitude of need in our world...In our own back yards or across the planet.  So I start where I can.  And there is no value to be placed differently among children based on their geographic location.  If you have a heart to serve, the Lord will show you where your life and your love and your time are needed.

For us, God has given us a relationship with a boy halfway around the world.  And we've been blessed to call him "son," even though he is not with us in person.  One thing that is true, no matter where we serve is that relationship and consistency are the keys.  Also, I'm learning over and over again that we have to be continually asking the Lord and asking the people who know more than we do, "How we can best help?"  

We're approaching the Ukraine orphan care work with that attitude of "Show us how, Lord."  We are working to have authentic dialogue with people who are currently in the trenches of orphan care in Ukraine, who know where the needs are and who have incredible insight into how we can come alongside and offer support. So please keep praying with us that God will continue to reveal His plans and His will to us as we are working to understand the best way to care for orphans.  

Would you like to give a small gift to an orphan in Ukraine?  Let me know, and I'll tell you about the kids who still need someone to give to them!  And I'll be sure to share photos with you.  You can also make a donation through the Donate button at the top of the page, and help through Project HOPEFUL - we're raising money to do some special things for the children while we're there.  It's really exciting!

I am praying also for you, that you'll be encouraged in your own life as you see needs and work to meet them in the name of Jesus.  If you would like to share about how God's stirring your heart into action and where you are called to serve, I would love to have you leave a comment and tell me about it. It's so encouraging to hear about what each of you is doing! 

"May the God of all peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus...equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen."  

Hebrews 13:20-21