The Friendship Goal

My friends are amazing.  Whenever I spend time with the wonderful women in my life, I come away refreshed and encouraged.  My sometimes emptying cup is filled back up with gratitude and grace.  The parts of me that are wearing thin are made stronger.  I am connected, and my heart is full.

Time with friends is a priority to me.  It didn't used to be.  Friend time was a luxury.  It was something for after the house was perfectly clean (which it never is) and the laundry was all put away (which it sometimes is, but mostly isn't).  And because my life is real (read: not perfect!), there is always something to do, and that was causing me to miss out on the best parts of living some days.

The pressure I put on myself as a woman left me feeling like I was coming up short all the way around.  A few months ago, I received a copy of The Me Project: 21 Days to Living the Life You've Always Wanted, and one of the things I did was make a list of 50 goals.  One of them was having more time with friends.  Now that I call it a "goal" instead of a "reward" (for achieving domestic perfection...which I have yet to do), I see my friend time as it truly is: valuable and to be treasured.

If I wait to enjoy my life's precious friendships until all the other stuff is done, I will often miss out.  So I plan my fun things first now.  I write playdates into my calendar in ink and leave the other things for the pencil.  And the coolest thing has happened!  The "work" I need to do gets done faster and more joyfully!

God has made us as women to really thrive within relationships.  We need to connect.  To share.  To tell.  To listen.  God has equipped us to build each other up in our spirits in very unique and beautiful ways, and I believe the gift of friendship is something that God Himself gives us to enjoy fully.  My friends encourage me with God's Word, with their laughter and with their understanding.  They bless my parenting, my marriage, my homemaking and my heart.

Driving Lessons from My Parents

Driving down Route 9, my learner's permit nestled proudly in my wallet, my dad in the passenger seat, I am riding the brakes, tentative, looking for the spot where I know the speed limit changes from 40 to 25mph. My dad opens the passenger door.  Just a little.  And he sticks his foot out.

"What are you DOING?"  I ask him.

"I'm just going to get out and walk," he replies, chuckling, "I'll wait for you when I get where we're going."  I shriek, "DAD!"  We laugh.  He knows we're going somewhere, and he's eager to keep moving.  He wants me to get to my destination.

Another day, driving past my high school with my mom, we approach the familiar railroad tracks.  She turns off the radio and starts rolling down the window.  She tells me that I need to come to a stop at the tracks, and I need to listen for a train, in case there's one coming, and I happen not to see it.  I oblige.  "You must be kidding."  But she isn't.  She knows I'm her only baby, and the thought of the flashing railroad lights being out of order and the chance that I might not see a train chugging down the tracks laid in the wide open field inspires her to come up with safety rules the Driver's Ed program clearly must have overlooked.  She wants me to be safe.

I laugh, thinking of my parents teaching me to drive.  I still talk to them about how to get where I'm going.

I talk to my mother about challenges and obstacles in the road.  How I want to avoid them.  My mom tells me that God is just as concerned with what I'm going through on the way to where I'm going as He is in getting me to a certain place.  She tells me that He uses the journey to prepare me for the destinations He has planned.  It's the bumps in the road that God uses to refine my character and to equip me.

My dad and I talk about dreams.  Things I'd love to pursue that are new and different.  He tells me to get on the road and start driving.  My dad says, "You can always make mid-course changes in direction.  But not if you're sitting in your car in the driveway."  He's still encouraging me to keep moving.  He believes I am on my way toward good things, even as I am enjoying good things now.

It feels like my own kids are fast approaching driving age.  It scares me to death, to be honest.  I want them to be safe.  I want to teach them the important things.  I want to help them dare to move boldly in the direction of their God-given dreams and gifts.  I vowed 17 years ago never to make my own children listen for trains, but I might just once.  For old time's sake.

"I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth.  These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them."  Isaiah 42:16


"The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you or forsake you. Do not be afraid, do not be discouraged."  Deuteronomy 31:8


Some of you are moving through rough patches of road.  Some of you are feeling a little apprehensive about getting out of the driveway and moving toward a new goal.  I'm praying for you today to be filled with the confidence that if God's in the driver's seat, you can keep moving boldly forward.  If you need to make a change in direction, the Lord will show you when and how.  

(I Finally Won Something!) "The Me Project" by Kathi Lipp

I'm not a contest-enterer.  But I saw a book give-away contest, and to enter, all I had to do was leave a braggy comment about my husband (which I LOVE to do), so I couldn't resist!  And I WON a copy of The Me Project: 21 Days to Living the Life You've Always Wanted! 

Kathi Lipp challenges women to grab a journal and dare to write out 50 goals you have - anything at all!  Then, after praying about which goal to pursue intentionally right now, she creates a plan for attacking the obstacles in the way and getting started achieving!

I sat one night and wrote out some goals, and it felt so good to really identify some of the things I want to do.  To put them on paper.  Make them real.  One goal I have is to remember how the heck to thread a bobbin and operate my sewing machine (any helpers out there!?), so I can do some little sewing projects.  Another is to get more involved in ministry.  

It's cool to see the Lord take that act of focusing on goals (which feels a little self-indulgent, I admit) and bless it by causing me to see areas where He's there with opportunities that are in line with the things on my heart.  Just last night, I enjoyed the first of six weekly Biblical Counseling teachings at Calvary Chapel.  

As a wife and mom, I think it's so easy to dismiss the goals and dreams we have for our own lives, but God has made us to dream and to create and to find satisfaction in living out the interests He has created us to have.  And I'm finding that as I am refocusing on specific goals, the effect of that on the other areas of my life is that I'm having more energy, more of a commitment to time management and a greater sense of responsibility to prioritize....which are ALL things that glorify God!  

My first and favorite mission field is my family.  I firmly believe as a wife and mom that I must honor the Lord in how I serve my family before I step out to do something to be a blessing elsewhere.   But I am reminding myself that it's also important each day to inject a little creativitiy and a little purpose toward things that inspire my heart.  God has designed us to live with passion and purpose, but it's easy as a mom to get the guilt-complex (self-induced, I will add), when we put anything for "ourselves" on the priority list.  There is definitely a responsibility we have to prioritize according to God's will.  But it's also very much God's heart for us to be using and enjoying the gifts and talents and dreams He's given us! 

I'm excited to share more about The Me Project: 21 Days to Living the Life You've Always Wanted as I take some steps toward the goals!