Breath of Grace

Somewhere in the middle of all the crazy, the noisy, the messy, the overwhelming, You are there.  You find me, still small, too small for all this day holds up for me to manage, and You offer me Your strength.

Treading hard to keep my head above the rush of current that sweeps me up into moments of relentless trying-hard, You fill my lungs with Your breath of grace.  I inhale the fragrance of Your life poured out so that Your Spirit in me is my strength.  You didn't mean for me to ever try to face the swells alone.  You know I can't.  So You have made a way for me.

Why, so many days, do I press hard through deep waters and carry the weight of this life without You?  Why do I sometimes let my heart feel overwhelmed in the middle of days You've already promised to spend with me? When will I get this grace and faith and peace walk right?

"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you."  Isaiah 43:2

You are patient with me, Lord.  You never complain when I need You to teach me the same lesson over and over.  You see the tender heart You gave me.  You know its limitations, and You so gently cover me with Your faithfulness.  You quiet the storms in me with Your sweet voice.  You lead me through the days I fight to conquer on my own, and You love me even in my stubbornness.

I don't deserve You, and You give Yourself to me still.

Please teach me to how to live each of my moments in the fullness of Your grace, to let Your peace and love flood my life, so that all I have to give out is grace.  The burdens I struggle to surrender, the dreams I don't know how to let go of, please help me uncurl my fingers from around those things that I hold onto more tightly than I do Your hand.

Show me how to raise up little lives in Your grace alone and by Your Word and Your Spirit.  I know I have to be good at recieving all this from You if I'm going to be good at giving it to them.  Thank You, Lord, that You give me what I don't deserve.  Thank You for all You've entrusted to my care and promise to help me do for Your glory.

Thank you for helping me breathe in the fullness of Your grace.

"The grace of our Lord was poured out on me abundantly, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus."  1 Timothy 1:14

Psalm 12 - Promise of a Mighty God

"The LORD replies, 'I have seen
 the violence done to the helpless,
and I have heard the groans
of the poor.

Now I will rise up to rescue them,
as they have longed for me to do.'

The LORD's promises are pure,
like silver refined in a furnace,
purified seven times over.

Therefore, LORD, we know you will
protect the oppressed,
preserving them forever from this
lying generation,

even though the wicked strut about,
and evil is praised throughout
the land."
Psalm 12:5-8

Signed, "Your Sasha"

June already feels like it's flying by.  I can't believe that in just a handful of weeks, we'll be boarding a plane and heading to Kiev, Ukraine!  Neither Selden nor I love flying, so please be praying that I won't hyperventilate while flying over the ocean.  

This morning, I want to express my thanks.  When I have needed help, friends have shown up, unexpectedly, to lighten my load.  When we've shared our story of Sasha coming into our lives (and I've tried not to cry while talking about seeing him finally get to have that highly anticipated fishing day with my husband - even if it's halfway around the world), I've seen smiles spread across faces, and I know that the Lord's moving hearts for this boy and his friends at Sunshine. I remember daily that this is the Lord's work, not mine, and He will do this.

Some area churches have expressed interest in sharing the ministry of Sunshine and our heart for Sasha and the kids who, like him, call Sunshine their home.  Please pray for these opportunities with us.  It's exciting to see God take the seeds of a small "yes" spoken by a couple of ordinary parents in a small New England town and grow them into more ministry opportunities, more ways to spread the Gospel and the heart of Christ. We know all we have offer to our Father is small, but we have a Lord who can take a few loaves and fishes and feed thousands.  It's the willingness to give what we can that God wants to see in our lives.  Sometimes, knowing that what we have is less than what is needed to accomplish something has kept me from the "yes," but not any more.  

I'd like to take this moment to let you all know that, as you have come alongside us in prayer, in giving of time and encouragement and even sharing with us financially, this mission is already bearing fruit, and we haven't even packed our bags.  We're very excited to spend time with all the children and to do some special things to bless them in the name of Jesus while we're in Ukraine.  This is a heart mission.  A sharing God's love in tangible ways mission.  An entering-your-world-because-you-are-worth-the-effort mission.  All of these children are worth the time and effort of getting to know personally, and the staff who minister to them daily are people I am honored to have the privelage of calling friends and getting to meet!

We got a sweet letter from Sasha late last week.  He is excited for our visit.  His heart sounds hopeful and full of anticipation, and he's already coming up with a list of places in Ukraine he wants to take us, and we can't wait!  God loves this boy, this young man who puts tears in my eyes every time a new photo of him comes up in my email.  Every time I see his letters, signed "Your Sasha," my heart whispers a tearful "thank you, Jesus" to the Father of the fatherless, to the One who takes regular people like us and  helps us be family to a child we've yet to meet but recognized as "one of our kids" the first time we laid eyes on him.