Reason #359 Why Teenagers Rock

We don't see enough of the good teenagers do these days.

Here's some GOOD stuff teens are doing for others and for God. 

Get ready to smile (and/or cry)...  

Bangor Baptist Church's Thrive Student Ministries serving inner city Philadelphia at Center for Student Ministries (CSM). Video production by Kanishko, who 

So His Beauty Eclipses our Battle

Goodbye, 2011.  You wrung me out.  Left me weary.  Drug me through the trenches.  Leveled my heart.  Rendered me speechless at times.  Shook apart the familiar.  Relentlessly bombarded my spirit with battles. 


And I'd just like to say thank you.

(And please don't keep on doing that in 2012. I'd sort of like a break.)

There are some things I learned last year, and I'll share them with you, because I hope that in your uncertain places, on your battlefields, in the days of having your fingers pried away from the things you have always clung to for comfort, you may be blessed and encouraged by the beauty of our faithful God. And the knowledge that you are in good company in those hard places.

In the battlefield seasons, one way we can learn to "abide" is by choosing to "engage elsewhere," so the Lord is doing what He promises to do in His Word: fighting on our behalf.

When things are hard, and they will be, focusing on the "hard" will exhaust and deplete us of all the good resources the Lord wants us to be filled with.  Because the real battles are spritual, we can waste a lot of our energy trying in our own strength to handle things, but God wants us to be useful for HIM.  I believe that we are built to best handle hard places when we are at the same time working on building good things for the glory of God.

I love the passage in Nehemiah, when he talks about how the families are stationed to build the wall, and they are both building and battling, as also we can be!


"Those who carried materials did their work with one hand and held a weapon in the other, and each of the builders wore his sword at his side while he worked."  Nehemiah 4:17 & 18


We are promised in the Word of God that "In this world, we will have trouble.  But take heart! I have overcome the world." (John 16:33)  


The trick is not to be distracted by the trouble.  For me, that has taken some practice.

The very best way of doing this is to dive head-first into serving the Lord and serving others.  An ultimate act of faith in the Lord is being able to hand Him the difficult things, the battle-places, the unknowns, the things that hurt or induce anxiety, and let him focus on those things for us, while we purpose in our hearts to focus on serving.


We pray about the hard stuff.  We fast.  We talk with friends who can encourage us.  We use wisdom and seek cousel.  We do what needs to be done.  And then we step back and move in the direction of service, while the Lord does the stuff only He can do behind the scenes.

It's knowing when to actively engage and when to intentionally abide.


Jehoshaphat learned about engaging and abiding and the power of worship.  When faced with a "vast army," God told him, "Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army.  For the battle is not yours, but God's." (2 Chronicles 20:15)  And Jehoshaphat walked out what he needed to walk out, but he stepped onto that battle field to face the other army, and he did so with intentional praises to the Lord "for the splendor of His holyness" and "as they began to sing and praise, the Lord set ambushes against the men of Ammon and Moab and Mount Seir who were invading Judah, and they were defeated."  

We as humans really are powerless.  Everything is Him.  Everything is for His glory.  We have to get out of the way, stop trying to take over the wheel, stop trying to write the story, stop trying to fight the battle and start remembering that it's all under His control.

Our greatest strength is in recognizing our weakness in light of His great might.
Then we can let go.
I mean, really let go.

What we are to cling to is not our desire to control but our desire to serve.  We must serve in ways that stretch us.

We must understand that the Lord will sometimes ask us to say "YES!" to something that IS too big, too hard, too expensive, too radical before we even have the slightest idea of HOW He is going to work it out.  


Because we know Him.  And He will work it out.


This August, we did that very thing.  We didn't have the extra money for a trip to Ukraine that the Lord put on our hearts.  And we said yes, told a kid we love who's half the world away that we're coming, and we were committed.  Before we had one dollar raised toward it.  And just in time, each time we came to a need (purchasing plane tickets - we had $5 left over!) the Lord had provided exactly enough. And then He provided - through all of our friends' gracious giving - extra!  The great thing is, because all that we had was given to us, we couldn't receive any glory!  It was only for the Lord.  Which is how it always ought to be, but sometimes, when we don't have to trust and wait and rely on His provision, we deceive ourselves into thinking we have done some great thing.  And all the good is always only God.

There is glory for Him when there is need in us.


I hate asking for help. And I hate not knowing how things are going to work out.

So the Lord hit me in both of these places this year, because I had to ask for help with the fund raising.  And I had no idea how it would come together.

But I said yes ahead of time.  And that unleashed what has become a whole new reckless type of faith in me.  And it's amazing!

God's Word isn't filled with promises just so we can recite them and sound spiritual.  He gives us promises to cling to.  With our fingernails.  With desperate hanging-on.  When things don't make sense, as well as when they do.

There are often moments of not understanding and of feeling totally helpless that precede the overwhelming flood of grace that God pours out in answering our deepest plea for His help and His work in our lives.  And that is very cool.  He never leaves us stranded.  But He will sometimes let us wait for a while, so that we have let go of all the stuff of "us" that could interfere with His receiving the glory. And it makes us stronger.  Braver.  Tougher.  More useful.

God desires and deserves our trust.

The Lord will tell us the "what" and often not include the "why" or the "how."  Only in the trusting are we able to be ok with that.  And sometimes it takes practice.  A lot of practice.

This past year, the Lord has taken us on a huge adventure, closer to His heart, deeper into His love of the orphan, the widow, the fatherless and the stranger.  We've chased hard after His will and to obey.

We've worked to let go of what we are comfortable with, even when we don't understand, because we know God is good and will take care of us.  We've been led into a different church, and that was hard, because we love the church we attended before - the teaching, the friends, the worship.  But God asked us to pack up our family and go across town, and we weren't exactly sure why (I pester about why a lot, so I think God likes to stretch me).  And piece by piece, He is confirming we're in His will.

Some things are hard and beautiful at the same time.  
That's ok. 

In our new church, we are seeing that God has laid a groundwork in advance of what is turning out to be a perfect network of relationships in place to receive a family of refugees we love dearly. We met these amazing kids in person on our Ukraine trip last summer.  They are Afghani refugees, and they called Sunshine their home for several years, while they and their mom awaited entry to the U.S., which they were granted this past September.  Initially they were placed in Atlanta, but the desire of their hearts is to be in Maine.  So very soon, they will be moving here!

Our own family is being blessed in our new church as well: our kids are engaged, we are making new friends, we are under strong and gifted and personable leadership, but also the Lord had a plan that we had no idea about, and only in glimpses is He revealing the perfection of how He has set this thing up.  We are thankful for a pastor who, without having known us long, has shown a heart to welcome and serve our refugee friends alongside others and ourselves, continually making available his network of resources for their benefit.  Yesterday I met a church member who has offered a wonderful first home to our friends, and I can see in her spirit a mothering heart that will bless them tremendously.  I received an email from a Russian woman at church, who I have yet to meet in person, who is eager to welcome our Russian-speaking friends and be a friend to them herself.  


God is good.  All the time.  When we understand fully and when we don't. We always know He's good.  So we can go into the places He leads with confidence that He will be glorified and we will be blessed!

When we returned last summer from Sunshine, I cried.  I cried the whole way across Europe, across the ocean and into Boston.  I fell asleep briefly on a bus ride from Boston to Bangor, but when I woke up, I cried more.  I cried at the grocery store the first time I went after returning home, because I saw sunflowers for sale.  And Sasha's village is filled with sunflowers (which are prettier than the ones here). I cried at random times for months. My heart was so leveled by our trip to Ukraine.  I truly wanted to pack up my family and all we could fit in suitcases and move to Sunshine and look after the kids. (This was not possible or what God was asking right now, however.) My heart was in a million pieces, having seen a bit of what the Lord is doing there and how tremendous the needs are and how precious the people.  

But spending myself last year on behalf of others... that was good.  It was necessary.  It has to be a permanent lifestyle.  Because it is the only way of true joy.  It's the only way to set aside the things that are heavy and to pick up the joy of the Lord.


On my oldest daughter's 13th birthday, just a week away, we will be receiving a really huge gift from the Lord.  It is then the family we came to love dearly at Sunshine will be arriving in Maine, to enter into the new future the Lord has prepared.  They will be driven by a missionary friend we've known for two years but will meet in person for the first time.  His church in Kentucky is funding their move and a large part of their initial lodging.  And a church in Bangor, where we barely even know anyone yet, is awaiting their arrival with open hearts and arms.  Friends from all over my part of the state - from a number of churches and businesses and families - have reached out to this family for over a year, so although it's their first time stepping foot in Maine, the Lord has prepared a place for these refugees to find refuge in Him and in presence of His people.

It's this type of chasing, this type of investment of time and energy, that causes the Lord's great beauty to eclipse the battles that go on in life.  The hard stuff is small in light of the greatness of my God.  We have to fix our focus.


Our hearts are a bit like our eyes. We can really only look at one thing at a time.  
We can look inward, or we can look upward. 


I'd like to encourage you to join me in 2012 in a bit of a challenge.  I'd like this to be a year of looking up.  It's not always easy. I'll probably fall short a lot of days. But if you'd like to point your heart's focus upward with me, we will certainly see the Lord resolve the peripheral stuff, the battles that only He can fight anyway, the troubles this world tosses toward us, the things that we really can't control. What we can control is how we aim our gaze... We will be seeing most whatever it is we are looking at, right?  Let's look together at the beauty of our Lord Jesus Christ and chase hard after the things He has in mind for us to do in His service, for His glory.  


(And check out this awesome promise God makes us, if we're willing to live other-focused and Christ-focused!  Who'd want to miss this!?)


"Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
and untie the cords of the yoke, 
to set the oppressed free
and break every yoke?
Is it not to share your food with the hungry
and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter - 
when you see the naked, to clothe him, 
and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?
Then your light will break forth like the dawn, 
and your healing will quickly appear; 
then your righteousness will go before you, 
and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard.
Then you will call, and the Lord will andwer;
you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.


If you do away with the yoke of oppression, 
with the pointing finger and malicious talk, 
and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry 
and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, 
then your light will rise in the darkness, 
and your night will become like the noonday.
The Lord will guide you always;
he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
and will strenghten your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden, 
like a spring whose waters never fail." (Isaiah 58:6-11)

One Small Thing for One Great Purpose

He probably has no idea how much he's given us.  There is a gray and yellow set of tea cups and saucers in my china cabinet, which he handed me on a subway in Kiev.  He bought them for us with money he should have used for himself.  Sasha gave us chocolates also.  But he did more.  He let us in.  He gave us his trust.

And he gave us an opportunity to trust in a God who asks more of us than we have resources to give... A God who wants the "yes" from us and will supply all we need to give in response. 


For two years I've wrestled with the Lord about my desire to have control over how things go in my life.  I have asked God to take me out of my comfort zone, and still I've clung to the familiar and the comfortable. I've asked God for a heart for the orphan, and He's given this to me, and I didn't really know when I asked for it, how much this type of heart can hurt.  Or how much this heart is transformed by a love that is focused outward. And upward.

For two years, I've known Sasha in letters and photos and through stories told by the adults who care for him at Sunshine Center, people who now I call sisters in Christ and dear friends.

Last year, many dear friends across the country loved on the Sunshine kids with gifts and letters at Christmas.  Some of these friends have been broken in their hearts for the child they chose and have kept on giving.

I don't think Sasha knows that he is really who God used to begin such a sweet pouring out of grace. 

The Lord used our friends again last summer to provide all that we needed to fund a trip to Sunshine, and our sweet friends sent us with suitcases filled with gifts for the kids and all the staff who work so hard and so faithfully, so often unnoticed by eyes other than the Lord's.

Selden played a version of soccer-basketball with Sasha and Zamir one afternoon.  We visited a Ilja in the hospital.  Oksana and Olia and Misha swung me so high on a bench swing that I was shrieking, and we were laughing, and Misha was making silly noises like our Eli does.

And so often we would see our own children in these kids. 

I washed dishes with Aleksandra, and I made hamburger patties with Olia and Oksana and some other girls.  Kanishko helped Selden roast marshmallows for s'mores.  Manoz never stopped smiling, not even once. Katia came quietly to me before we left and gave me a small bear.  Valik, in his camo pajamas, ran into the room we sat in with Ilia, having tea and talking about how she felt about moving to the States, and he hugged me over and over.  Then he gave me a little stuffed monkey.

How can kids we travelled acoss continents to serve be the ones giving so freely?

How is it that I am receiving so much more than I feel I am giving?

Or is that just the way it is, when we give in Jesus' name, that it is really we ourselves who continue to be filled to overflowing, so that the giving is not an emptying at all?  

When we receive from a God of limitless resources, why do I continue to be surprised by the capacity He has to do still more?

It is the time of year again when I am putting together the Facebook group "Sunshine Christmas 2011" for the gift giving project, and this year there are significantly more children who are listed.  Please pray with me that each child will be chosen by someone and will be blessed, even as I know each of those generous hearts who give will be blessed even more.

If you would like to be part of what God is doing to remind kids who have had very difficult circumstances to face so far in their lives that they are remembered, that they are loved, that they have been chosen to receive something special, that they are prayed for... please come on over and join us.

Please share this project with your friends as well.  I would like to personally invite you to be part of loving the orphan, part of doing one small thing for one great cause:  that Jesus Christ would be glorified!

(And please pray for our family at this time as well. We are updating our adoption home study, for what is now a third time.  I'm not sure at all what the Lord has planned, but when He shows us His will, we will be ready.)

Substance of Things Hoped For

We've been back for almost three weeks, I think, and I haven't really posted anything about our trip to Ukraine.  Please let me say I'm sorry about that.  So many of you gave your time, bought gifts, made generous donations, prayed faithfully, and I promised to keep you posted, and I haven't done well with that at all.  And it's not because I haven't thought of it.  I've actually thought of little else.  It's just that I haven't been able to sit and write without crying.

There is no way that I could have ever known how deeply personal, how intensely emotional and how heart-stoppingly overwhelming this whole experience would have been.  I knew it would be unforgettable.  I knew I would cry when I first met Sasha.  I knew that when my eyes fell on his face in a crowd of people, I would mark that instant as a gift from my Father in heaven.  I knew our friends Oksana and Ania would be amazing.  And I knew it would be excrutiating to leave all of these people behind and return home.  But I didn't know how much this week would level my heart and bring me to a screeching halt and render me wordless (wonder of wonders).  I didn't know I would feel like I was leaving home and saying goodbye to my children both times I boarded the plane.  Truly, I could not even speak of this week without floods of tears (on airplanes, in airports, even a week later in the grocery store parking lot!).  So I just haven't known how to put all this into words.

But I need to try.

You have all been part of what God did in our family while we were in Ukraine.  So I will begin to try to put into words the indescribable goodness of God we experienced in our trip to Sunshine.

This exact moment, it was a gift from the hand of God.  Each of our moments are.  But this one, it's one I can mark to the second.  Capture in a photo.  Keep tucked in my heart. A perfectly ordinary-looking moment containing the invisible substance of an answered prayer.  

And I recall that "Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things unseen." (Hebrews 11:1) This moment.  This walking out the doors of an airport amidst throngs of strangers and also amidst long prayed-over friends.  This is the substance of things hoped for in my heart.  This is what faith looks like...

Guest-posting at Project HOPEFUL's blog today. Come on along!

This morning I've been given the opportunity to share a little about our visit to the orphanage in Kiev where the children with HIV or and other medical needs live.  It was truly an answer to prayer to have this open door, and another answer to prayer to be able to take photographs.  There is so much to tell you about our trip, but today, I'd love to have you come on over to the Project HOPEFUL blog with me!

"A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling.  God sets the lonely in families."  Psalm 68:5-6

A Growing Season

Over a year ago, I did something dangerous.  I don't recommend you try this at home, unless you're ready for what will happen afterward. Over and over, throughout the winter of last year, I prayed that God would stretch me, take me out of my comfort zone and bring me to rely on Him alone.  And He has.  And He is.

"He must become greater; I must become less." John 3:10

In so many ways, God is stripping away what is me, what is comfortable.  I can look a short ways behind me now, and I see how very much I have always relied on myself.  If I couldn't see the end of the road, I would typically not step foot on it.  But in God's answering my prayer for more unleashing of faith and total reliance on Him, He is calling me and my husband to step out into new places and agree to do more than we could possibly do on our own.  It's a beautiful, raw, unbridled faith-testing, this going into the unknown.  Each step along the way, God is using His Word as "a lamp unto our feet and a light unto our path." And He is bringing precious travellers alongside us.

My eyes are opening daily to more and more need.  It is everywhere, in this broken world we call home for now.  The love of Christ for the orphan has taken root in my heart, and over the course of a few years of learning about what the Word of God says about orphans and what my responsibility is to them, I am digging deeper and deeper into the dark places of our world, asking the Holy Spirit to really let me see.  At one time, I lived in my own world, enjoying my own "stuff" and giving my tithes and doing nice things as long as it didn't cost me my own comforts.  I can't see what Jesus sacrificed for me, and see the hurting world around me, and continue to live for myself, though.  It just isn't possible.  Christ poured out His own blood for me, and I have never been worthy of what I cost him.  How can I possibly see those needs around me and not consider them worthy of a cost to myself?

"But the king replied to Araunah, 'No, I insist on paying you for it. I will not sacrifice to the LORD my God burnt offerings that cost me nothing.'" 2 Samuel 24:24

God is revealing to my heart that there are many types of offering I can make to Him.  My praise in the midst of trials.  Money I set aside for something for me that I can instead use for someone else.  Being afraid to fly over the ocean and getting on the plane anyway, to go where the Lord send us. The willingness to miss my babies for a week to shower a boy we consider family, and who misses his parents every single day of his life, with the love of a mom and dad.

What started as a heart for adoption, a heart for the orphan, is being grown into a heart more burdened by the brokenness in this world... into a heart that knows more about human trafficking and that many orphans wind up in sex slavery all across this planet and even in our nation, because they are easy victims of evil people in a hugely profitable industry... a heart that knows kids watch their parents die of AIDS, sometimes curled up beside them as they succumb to the horrible death AIDS inflicts on its victims, and then wind up heads of households at age 10... a heart that knows there are little babies and children living in this world with HIV who have no family and are considered nothing more than what, in our Lord's time, people considered the lepers - filthy, outcast, throw-away people, and that is not who they are or how God considers them... and I now know these kids can actually be adopted and with meds we have access to here, can live a normal life span.  I am now aware that as my kids splash their summer days away in swimming pools and lakes, there are whole communities dying slowly from lack of clean water.  I know there are little children with empty bellies, and they all have names and faces and stories.  And God doesn't desire my guilt at having health and having food on the table and clean water to splash in, because it is the Lord who blesses us with these things.  But He is clear in His Word that I have a duty, and He has given me a desire to act. 

"Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless; maintain the right of the poor and oppressed. Rescue the weak and needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked." Psalm 82:3-4

"Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy."  Proverbs 31:8-9

Recently, as I'm drawn more in love with the children in our world and in our own country who are orphans, God is not allowing me to be content living with blinders on.  I can feel my heart seeking out more understanding, and I'm asking God to give me His eyes and His heart and His strength.  

As we prepare to go on our first trip to Eastern Europe, we ask you would be praying for us.  The Lord is so faithful to guide us in the direction of His will.  It's a huge gift from the hand of God Himself to be able to look our Sasha in the face and tell him he is worth the travel and that he is loved by us and by the Lord.  That moment, and all the moments we will spend in his company, are an honor which I am humbled to be able to receive.  There is not a single person on this earth I would rather meet than our Sasha.  Not one.  (There's not an 11-year old girl on the planet who wants to meet Justin Bieber any more than we want to meet Sasha!) I cannot tell you how moved my heart is that God is giving us this opportunity. Wow... am I ever going to be crying tears of joy!

I'd like to also express my deep thanks for all those (some I know well and others I've never met) who have invested of their time, prayers, finances, energy, and words of encouragement to us.  We are going on this mission and bringing you all along in our hearts.  We could not do this were it not for your participation, and God is using every single thing you are investing to not only bless us but to make a real impact on the children and caregivers we will be with this month and on children we are working toward supporting in the future.  Your gifts are going to have eternal impact, and I am honored to watch your hearts in action.   

Please pray that we would be able to accomplish all the Lord intends for us to do.  The trip has grown by His grace into one that is allowing us opportunity to work on behalf of orphans in a number of different ways.  I'm seeing how small my faith has always been, in light of what I'm learning now about growing in my faith to the point that I press in hard toward the unknown and the too-big and the I-don't-know-how.  

"Do not despise these small beginnings, for the LORD rejoices to see the work begin!" Zechariah 4:10

Interviewed on Project HOPEFUL's Blog Today

You've heard me share about Project HOPEFUL and a little about my new role as their Maine Associate, and today I was invited to be interviewed on their blog.  Come on over with me...

Guest Posting On Bangor Daily's "Get Ginafied"! (Come on over...)

It's not everyday that manicures and missions collide.  I'm really excited to be guest posting today at Get Ginafied, and I'd love to have you follow me over there to hear what all the fuss is about....

(Just for fun, here's a photo of me and Gina from the days when we both were blondies!)

A Mama's Tears

With tears, I welcome my children into my life, into this world.  It's just what I do.  I cry.  And I say, "Thank you, Jesus." In fact, my husband had to remind me to wait a few more pushes to start crying over Sagie, because I apparently started crying too soon.  If that's too much information, please forgive me.

It's with certainty that I can tell you, I will be crying in a few weeks, when I first set my eyes on my oldest child.  The one I did not give birth to, but over whose life my heart and prayers have labored for 20 months.  The son who does not share our last name or live in our home, but whose presence in our family has changed us by God's hand in more ways than I can ever list, will quite possibly stand in awe of this red-headed American woman who is crying when she meets him and saying, "Thank you, Jesus" in a language he does not speak.  I'm hoping that he'll see the joy in those tears and be blessed to know how much he moves my heart. 

His photos hang on our walls.  His sleeping bag is rolled up in its case upstairs, alongside Eli's and Lia's.  His fishing pole is in our garage. Our two-year old includes him in the list of siblings she prays for at bedtime. But he is not here.  There are still a few things in bags on my bedroom floor that I have held off mailing to him.  Because I hoped he would be coming here and we could give them to him in person.  

Instead, we will take his things to him ourselves next month.  "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD.  "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55: 8-9 

We've also been given some wonderful things to share with our friends at Sunshine, from our local Borders, which is closing.  (More tears.)  We were told that flavored coffee is a big treat to our friends at Sunshine, so Borders has been collecting donations of coffee from wonderfully generous customers, and they have also put together some cool things for the kids!

We're so encouraged to see how the Lord is providing for our needs as we are going ahead on this trip He has called us to.  We have been relying on the Lord for every penny of our travel expenses, and He has provided graciously for all things.  We purchased our tickets last week, and we had five bucks to spare!  Now we're raising funds for our expenses in-country, and we have been blessed by friends giving, either through Project HOPEFUL's "Donate" button up at the top right of this blog or directly making gifts to us for the things we'll be doing in our ministry overseas.  

God is so faithful.  I just want to be sure to say that today.  He is so faithful, and He is always faithful. If there is anything in your life that you are sensing the Lord calling you to do, stepping out in faith, walking beyond the borders of where you are comfortable, agreeing to do more than you can possibly do with the resources you have within your control: go for it.  That's on my heart to share. I don't know if someone reading this today may be hearing all the reasons not to do something being whispered over the call of Christ to step out, but I want to encourage you to say "yes."  Say yes before the money is there, or the house is perfect, or the answers all are worked out.  Say yes, because the One who is calling you out is able to meet each need as it arises, and if you have all the resources and all the answers, then are you really even using any faith?  I'm learning so much about clinging to nothing but my Lord, and He alone is able. 

I have one request of you all.  Would you please pray for us?  This morning I've been reading in Colossians, and I'd like to make this verse my request.  "And pray for us, too, that God may open a door for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ...Pray that I may proclaim it clearly, as I should."  Colossians 4:3 & 4  Please also pray for Sasha, that his life and his future will be impacted by the message of the Gospel, that we will share with him the love of Christ in ways that meet him right where he is, and that he will know the love of a mom and dad, even though he has had to suffer the loss of his birth mom and dad.  Please pray that we will be a blessing to the staff who work with all the kids, both at Sunshine and at any other orphanage or children's center we will be visiting.  Please pray we will be led by the Spirit in knowing what to say and how to say it at all times, and that we would be wise and that we would build lasting relationships.  Above all, please pray that God will be glorified in every single aspect of our travels and our time.  

Some of you have followed our journey with Sasha since its beginning.  There have been so many tears cried over this boy.  We have come to love him with the love of Christ and with the love of parents, and we know God's plans for him are so good.  I love what Psalm 126 says:  "The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy... Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy.  He who goes out weeping, carrying seeds to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him."  The Lord has brought us to the place where the tears will be tears of joy.  We've birthed dreams and we've seen them die.  We've handed back to the Lord those things which we believe He has written on our hearts, and He does what only He is able to do.  He has written for our lives a story we could not have predicted, and it is good.  His faithfulness never fails us.  He is the Lord, our God, and we are honored to be able to serve Him.  

Thank you for your prayers.  God is using you to accomplish His will, and we know we are surrounded by those who love us and who share God's heart for the orphan.  We are eager to meet the caregivers we have come to call our friends, who serve the Lord daily in the fields of the fatherless.  We look forward to reporting back beautiful stories of redemption amidst the hard places.  And we are very excited to spend time in person with our guy, Sasha.  "Thank you, Jesus." (Tears.)

Psalm 12 - Promise of a Mighty God

"The LORD replies, 'I have seen
 the violence done to the helpless,
and I have heard the groans
of the poor.

Now I will rise up to rescue them,
as they have longed for me to do.'

The LORD's promises are pure,
like silver refined in a furnace,
purified seven times over.

Therefore, LORD, we know you will
protect the oppressed,
preserving them forever from this
lying generation,

even though the wicked strut about,
and evil is praised throughout
the land."
Psalm 12:5-8

"to give you HOPE and a future...."

This is how it all starts for me.  I'm watching this clip, shared by a friend on Facebook, and I am ashamed at what I do not know.  Every misconception that exists about HIV, I am guilty of assuming true.  And it's humbling, this heart for the orphan that has missed out entirely on such a large group of orphans to love, simply out of ignorance.  But this family hits my heart at its center, and the truth that requires bravery and releases hope is powerful.

Over a course of months, I read lots about Project HOPEFUL, and I often sit and wipe tears from my face as I scan the faces of children who need a mom and dad... children who need to know the Father who is their Defender and the One who hears their cry.  The Father who has promised to them, "'I know the plans I have for you,' says the LORD, 'plans for good and not for evil, to give you hope and a future.'" Jeremiah 29:11. I think of my Savior, his heart for "the least of these," and it's hard for me to sit in my house in America with my healthy children and my kitchen filled with food and the goodnight stories read in the rocking chair and not wonder, "who could this world possibly consider as less than the orphan living with HIV?"  And there are so many we call "least."  

The list of who we consider to be least grows.  It includes these little ones living with HIV, who we don't stop to consider, because we are afraid and don't know the hope that exists.  And it includes the foster children in our country whose hearts are wounded.  It includes little babies in America born with skin too dark for some waiting parents to bring them home.  It includes children who have nothing left on this earth but the brothers and sisters they have come to depend on for every sense of safety, but they are too many in number, so we break them up so it is easier on us.  And it includes boys like my Sasha, young men with promise and humor and dreams, who age-out of care and yet still are at ages where care and support and structure is needed.  

I am thankful for a Lord who shows us how to love "the least of these," and who reminds us that how we treat them is, in fact, how we are treating him.  He says, "And whoever welcomes a little child in my name welcomes me." Matthew 18:5. 

After learning a lot about Project HOPEFUL and having spent the past year and a half praying about where exactly the Lord would use me to serve in orphan care, I'm very excited to now be the Maine Associate for Project HOPEFUL.  This week I'll be learning more in a training about the variety of ways I'll be able to serve families in our own state, and I have been blessed with a very unexpected and absolutely amazing opportunity to link our trip to Ukraine to the ministry of Project HOPEFUL!

Friday morning, I enjoy a long and wonderful phone call to Traci Heim, who is Project HOPEFUL's Ukraine contact and the FIG Director (Family In the Gap Program, which helps in a variety of ways to link families here with kids in other countries who need support and love and prayer and family).  As we chase busy toddlers thoughout our homes (I automatically feel a friend-connection with anyone who understands that it's ok for me to give my 2-year old several popsicles in a row in order to manage a full phone call...), we have a two-hour conversation about Ukraine and the kids there who we love so much. This is a great news clip about her family:

Our mission in Ukraine has at its center a boy who is our son according to our hearts.  You all know our Sasha.  He is part of our family, and his photos are on our wall in our family gallery, all around my computer desk.  Our kids consider him family, and I have grieved his absense from our home tremendously over the past year, although I know God's story is not finished.  So we are thrilled to see him in only a few weeks!

As I talk to Traci, she shares a need she sees.  She tells me that Project HOPEFUL seeks to help older children and sibling groups as well as children living with HIV. We both know that in Ukraine, orphans age-out of orphanages at 16, and most often they are left on their own.  She has a vision that Project HOPEFUL can come alongside organizations who would care for these kids, offering support and linking families in the States with teens who need to know the love of family and of Christ and to be safe.  I tell her about Sunshine, about Sasha having someone to go to his trade school parent nights and about his letters sharing that he is learning to manage his time and money, and I tell her that I am so thankful he is safe and loved and provided for as he transitions to aduldhoood.

We are now adding a new element to our trip, as we connect our mission with that of Project HOPEFUL. Specifically, we are exploring the "how's" of linking up support to kids in Ukraine who need to be safe and loved and guided through learning a trade and being ready to transition to adulthood safely and successfully.  I watch as God is weaving together a relationship between our countries based on loving the orphan, and I see that even in what I thought was a closed door, God's faithfulness is opening a door of opportunity to serve Him alongside a team of people scattered across different countries but joined by His heart for "the least of these" and faith in the One who gives "hope and a future."

We've added a Donate button at the top right of our blog page, which will allow you to donate specifically to this mission in a tax deductible way through Project HOPEFUL, should you be led to do so.

{I'd like to say thank you to Project HOPEFUL for being used to share and expand the vision we have of orphan care in Ukraine!  It's been a desire of my heart to see more kids have the blessings of family and safety that Sasha has received, and I'm honored to be part of a team of people seeking to come alongside those in orphan care ministry overseas.}

{I'd like to also say thank you to Kathi Lipp for writing The Me Project: 21 Days to Living the Life You've Always Wanted and for your friendship - your words have been an encouragement to me to make steps in the direction of the dreams God has given me.}

Of the "yes" and the greatest bookstore ever

"Yes."  That's where it all starts.  At the yes.  And faith doesn't swell up in the unknowing, before-hand moments.  It is the answer we give without knowing how or when or sometimes even exactly what. But we always know why...  Because He has asked this of us.

A "yes" in the midst of not enough and no clue how and not at all qualified is the offering.  It's the giving up dependence on ourselves.  Giving up the comfort zone.  The cost of obedience to a God who has all the resources of the universe at His disposal is the willingness to let go of that small bit of what we presume is under our control.  Although it never really has been.  Not really.

And we embrace the unknown future with a sense of eagerness and wonder, knowing the story we are living has an Author whose plans for us are good.  We know that any story He writes for us is one worth living.  And worth living with abandon.

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."  Hebrews 11:1

The way I write a story is to map it out... to know the way the pieces fall into place before it's all been written down and fleshed out.  But that's not the way to live a good story.

The real secret is in the yes.  The yes, no matter what.  The yes, period.  When God asks us to do something too big for us, too expensive for us, to hard for us, it is because that is when we finally get out of the way and trust in Him alone.  He orchestrates the details.  He puts people in our lives to become part of the story.  And it all starts with saying yes.  It's a leaping without needing to look, trusting that what springs up from obedience to the Lord will be a beautiful harvest.

"And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him."  Hebrews 11:6

Over and over, I am so blessed by the help we are receiving from people who are eager to help us get to Ukraine this summer.  I struggled at first with the asking for help.  It's not what I'm comfortable doing.  And that's just pride.  It's not good, and it's something God's stripping away, layer by layer.  It's been so incredible to ask for help and to see people catch the vision for helping these kids we've come to love.  And in sharing, more people have come to love these kids as well.

Today, I was at Borders (the Bangor store is THE best!) having my favorite latte, and I was so encouraged and excited to hear that they're collecting bags of flavored coffee for us to take to the caregivers in Ukraine!  What a treat for them!  This outreach has become something bigger than just ours alone.  It's something our community and friends and family are joining with us in making possible, and all the fruit that is a result of the time we spend there belongs to all of you as well.

Beautiful Eyes, Searching for a Mama and Daddy

Look at this face.  This sweet girl is Melodie. I wonder what is going on behind those big, brown eyes.  I have photos of my little ones, pulled up to stand, proud in front of the camera while Mommy takes a picture to post on Facebook or email to proud grandparents.  Melodie's photo here is taken in an orphanage.  She doesn't have a mom or dad.  Her photo is not being posted for grandparent.  It's in a waiting children's list on Project HOPEFUL's website.

Melodie was born around Christmastime in 2009.  I don't know how she spent that first Christmas.  My baby was born right before Christmas the year before, and she spent the holiday in front of a tree overflowing with gifts she was too little to open, wearing a red dress with furry trim, surrounded by family who wanted to hold her non-stop, older siblings flinging gift wrap in the air in a flurry of excitement.

Melodie has spent two Christmases without a mom and dad so far.  She's a toddler, living in Eastern Europe in an orphanage.  She also has HIV.  She really needs a mom and dad.  She needs a home where she can have the medicine so available to us in the States.  Medicines that have caused HIV to be considered a "chronic illness," not a death sentence.  (I didn't even know this a few months ago.  I'm ashamed by my ignorance.)  Besides this medical diagnosis, she is a healthy little girl.

Would you please pray with me that Melodie would be found by the mom and dad the Lord knows by name even now?  Will you pray that God will move hearts and move mountains and clear the way for this little one to find her family?  Please pray with me that she will know the feeling of being a Daddy's girl, that she will one day wear matching aprons with her mommy and "help" in the kitchen, that she will pester an older sibling, or perhaps one day be an older sibling.  Please lift up this little one in prayer with me today, that our God who is the Defender of the fatherless and who "sets the lonely in families," according to His Word, will show up and show off in mighty and beautiful ways in the life of little Melodie.

Please share this post, if you feel led to do so.  If you have any questions about Melodie, or any of the children on the Waiting Kids list at Project HOPEFUL, please check out their website for contact information. This is a wonderful organization, committed to educating families about the truth of living with HIV and to helping children find HOPE and family.  Many of the little ones on the website will be resigned to spending the rest of their lives in mental institutions if they are not adopted by a certain age.  (Have you seen the documentaries Ann Curry did??? God forbid it...)  Please pray.  God has filled His Word with promises for the orphan, and He is true and faithful to His Word!

Signed, "Your Sasha"

June already feels like it's flying by.  I can't believe that in just a handful of weeks, we'll be boarding a plane and heading to Kiev, Ukraine!  Neither Selden nor I love flying, so please be praying that I won't hyperventilate while flying over the ocean.  

This morning, I want to express my thanks.  When I have needed help, friends have shown up, unexpectedly, to lighten my load.  When we've shared our story of Sasha coming into our lives (and I've tried not to cry while talking about seeing him finally get to have that highly anticipated fishing day with my husband - even if it's halfway around the world), I've seen smiles spread across faces, and I know that the Lord's moving hearts for this boy and his friends at Sunshine. I remember daily that this is the Lord's work, not mine, and He will do this.

Some area churches have expressed interest in sharing the ministry of Sunshine and our heart for Sasha and the kids who, like him, call Sunshine their home.  Please pray for these opportunities with us.  It's exciting to see God take the seeds of a small "yes" spoken by a couple of ordinary parents in a small New England town and grow them into more ministry opportunities, more ways to spread the Gospel and the heart of Christ. We know all we have offer to our Father is small, but we have a Lord who can take a few loaves and fishes and feed thousands.  It's the willingness to give what we can that God wants to see in our lives.  Sometimes, knowing that what we have is less than what is needed to accomplish something has kept me from the "yes," but not any more.  

I'd like to take this moment to let you all know that, as you have come alongside us in prayer, in giving of time and encouragement and even sharing with us financially, this mission is already bearing fruit, and we haven't even packed our bags.  We're very excited to spend time with all the children and to do some special things to bless them in the name of Jesus while we're in Ukraine.  This is a heart mission.  A sharing God's love in tangible ways mission.  An entering-your-world-because-you-are-worth-the-effort mission.  All of these children are worth the time and effort of getting to know personally, and the staff who minister to them daily are people I am honored to have the privelage of calling friends and getting to meet!

We got a sweet letter from Sasha late last week.  He is excited for our visit.  His heart sounds hopeful and full of anticipation, and he's already coming up with a list of places in Ukraine he wants to take us, and we can't wait!  God loves this boy, this young man who puts tears in my eyes every time a new photo of him comes up in my email.  Every time I see his letters, signed "Your Sasha," my heart whispers a tearful "thank you, Jesus" to the Father of the fatherless, to the One who takes regular people like us and  helps us be family to a child we've yet to meet but recognized as "one of our kids" the first time we laid eyes on him. 

Measuring My Life with God's Ruler

Converting measurements is not my thing.  I'm a word girl, not a numbers girl.  I measure in inches, and in Ukraine, measurements are in centimeters.  So, when I'm shopping for my heart-son, I always get a kick out of having to Google the conversion of measurements, so I get the sizes right.  I mean, I can't even think in centimeters!

It's like this in my relationship with the Lord, too.  He measures things differently than I do.  He measures time, progress, prosperity and success by standards that are not natural to me.  And He is faithful to teach me how to convert my measuring tape so I see my life more like He does.

When I think things aren't happening quickly enough, I am reminded "For a thousand years in your sight are like a day that has just gone by." (Psalm 90:4)

When I'm not sure things are turning out as they should, He whispers, "For my thoughts are not your thhoughts, neither are your ways my ways... As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." (Isaiah 55:8,9)

When I've sought out abundance in terms of owning nice things, Jesus says, "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.  But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven...For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." (Matthew 6:19)


When I've seen success at times as something people achieve through financial security or things I can see, I'm corrected by the words of my Lord, spoken to a man who had attained every measure of success as society would define it.  "Now a man came up to Jesus and asked, 'Teacher, what good thing must I do to get eternal life?'...Jesus answered, "If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven.  Then come, follow me.'  When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth." (Matthew 19:16, 20-21)  Jesus himself is clear that being willing to let go of our "stuff" is far more a measure of success in his eyes than being able to aquire it.

God's Word indeed pierces right through to the division of the bone and marrow (Hebrews 4:12)!  Every word of God shoots Truth and conviction straight into my spirit, and I cannot hear this Truth and remain unchanged.  I cannot spend time with a Savior who abandoned the splendor of heaven to suffer consequences of sin I earned and walk away with anything but a very clear understanding that I cannot be the one who decides how things are done or what is valuable.  I cannot measure my life by comforts or possessions or feeling a certain way.  I can only hold up as my standard a life lived in emptying out of love undeserved and yet freely given.

I'm not sure I'm ever going to become really good at figuring out sneaker sizes using centimeters, although my boy is worth every moment I'll spend trying to figure that one out!  And as I work on my centimeters-to-inches conversion for things like shoe shopping, the Lord is very faithfully about the task of changing the way my heart measures.

Please God, ANYTHING but Fundraising!!!

I'm noticing a theme here.

Ever since I boldly proclaimed to the Lord that I was itching to get out of my comfort zone, He's had a ball finding ways for me to practice this.  (You have to be careful what you boldy proclaim.)  It may seem silly to you, because maybe you are a fundraising exraordinaire.  I'm not.  I'm the girl who used to lug around the whole box of school-issued chocolate bars up and down the street, asking people to buy one for a dollar, and then would wind up going back home with half a box of chocolate bars, shrugging her shoulders and feeling relieved to have the whole attempt over and done.  I never won the cool prizes.  I didn't even care.  I just hated the asking so much.  It was excrutiating.

So, the Lord has given us a call to Ukraine to do ministry this summer, and of course, He's going to provide for our needs, according to His riches in glory.  But there's this small matter of fund raising.  See, God's expecting me to work at it.  He's going to bless the effort, but I'd much rather He sneak an extra several thousand dollars into my bank account so I can keep my pride intact and feel that I am getting out there on this mission on my own.

God isn't working that way, though.  He chooses to use people as His instruments of blessing.  He calls others to come alongside us and share the vision of blessing the kids at Sunshine with His love, and in that way, He multiplies the blessings back to all of us who are involved in getting His work done there.

Already I'm so blessed by the friends who would like to receive the letter (I have yet to write) about the trip and the ways we need friends to join with us to do this ministry!  And I'm excited about a fundraising yard sale we'll be doing (send donations of items, if you want to - all you spring cleaners out there).  There are some other events we'll have with the help of friends and area businesses, and I'll let you know about those, too.

But the letter-writing is the thing that is getting me right now.  I can sit and write forever.  And ever.  But I'm really struggling to sit down and write a letter asking for help.  God's dealing with my heart about this, because He's using this to show me a lot of pride and self-sufficiency in me, and those things don't glorify Him.  He is my need meeter.  He is the One who's orchestrating this ministry.  And He already knows the hearts He's moving upon to join with us in our work in Ukraine this summer.

So, you may get a letter.  If you would like to receive one, please let me know, and I will joyfully add you to our growing mailing list!  The plan is to spend 7-10 days in Ukraine, ministering to the kids and the caregivers at Sunshine in some very specific ways.  We're taking some things with us to give to the kiddos and caregivers (coffee is a big request, chocolates, fun little toys, ball caps, hair accessories, etc., so let me know if you'd like to contribute), and we're also going to be purchasing groceries to make some "American" meals for everyone, as well as taking the group to McDonald's (which is something that's a real fun treat for them) and also a water park.  We need financial partners in this, because the Lord is calling us to something that He knows is beyond our ability by our own means.

I can't wait to get to Sunshine and look the kids I've come to know by name in the eye and spend time with them.  They are so precious.  They are so blessed to be in a place where they are cared for  and are not put out on the street at 16 (thank you, Jesus!).  We are very eager to hug our heart-son Sasha and the other sweet kids there who all have come to feel like family to us over the past  year and a half.  We can't wait to meet Ania and the other caregivers who pour their lives out daily to make these kids feel loved. This is a ministry we believe in and love deeply, and we're so excited that God's sending us to share His love in Ukraine this summer!

Um, so I think I just sort of wrote a fundraising letter.....